If you approach a woman and it doesn’t work out, what’s the first thing that enters your head? Chances are that you wonder about your attractiveness and your ability to attract women.
It’s quite natural to have situations where you don’t succeed with women, it happens to us all. Unfortunately, it seems that it’s almost a natural instinct to let that affect your confidence and your perceptions of yourself.
If you were attractive, she’d have been interested, you may think. Therefore, if she wasn’t interested, you must be ugly, right? Wrong!
Apart from the importance of understanding that you can’t win every time, there’s something else that’s important, that you need to know.
Looks aren’t as important as you think they are, particularly if you’ve had a bad run of luck with women or lack confidence.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying they’re completely unimportant, just that they’re so much less important than what you probably have in your head, right now.
The secret behind this is twofold. Firstly, almost every man and woman doubts their own attractiveness, the second is that there’s a lot of leeway when it comes to deciding what’s sufficiently attractive.
Of course, to really understand the heart of this, you need to understand how women differ from men. Men decide how attractive a woman is almost entirely on their looks. Women take a lot of other factors into account.
Women make a deeper assessment. Looks are part of it, but so long as there’s nothing too crazy going on, it can slide a little on the scale, if a man has other good characteristics going in his favour.
What women will pick up on is how self conscious you are about your looks. If you’re a little overweight but you’re still confident, most women won’t mind. If you’re totally obsessed by the issue, you’ll notice women pick up on it.
The same would apply for almost anything; bald spot, large nose, you name it. If you let your shortcomings take center stage, you’ll make it far more difficult for your better qualities to shine through. And with that, you’ll find it a lot harder to convince women that you’d make a good partner, or even just someone to have a casual relationship with.
Now, women may initially find it easier to be attracted to good looking men, in the same way good looking women appeal to men. However, the most important thing to most women is finding someone who makes them feel good.
Looking good might make a woman feel good, in the short term, but if that good looking guy is a dumb jerk, she’s going to lose that good feeling pretty quick.
Also, keep in mind that different women find different men attractive. Some women like guys who are shorter than average, or men who carry a few extra pounds, so don’t think they all think the same.
So, it’s far better to become the kind of guy that can make women feel good, instead of worrying about how you look.
If you want some more guidance on approaching women in a way that makes them feel good, check out The Art Of Approaching for a system that delivers successful hook-ups by explaining the practical tips and psychology behind meeting women.
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